Thursday, July 9, 2009

Fear and loathing and tales of the cocktail...

I'm a stranger here. My nametag says MEDIA but and from what I gather that could mean anything from New York Times to some random blog that no one really reads... (oh that's me)!
As a result this badge of variable honor inspires random bartenders or liquor with happily dictate their resume and peddle their wares in my general direction. My feaned admiration of their works is only percieved as genuine knowlage of said esstablishments because everyone is drunk.
Out side the seminars boozers swarm to free samples like ants on a glob of jelly. Every stage of imbiber can be identified easily by the twinkle in their eye the ruddyness of there nose or the slur in their speech. One gentleman in a hazed stupor offered to let us partake his own handmade samples if we followed him to the restroom. You could hear the crickets. A very well endowed mistress from texas lectured me on the finer points of 'pacing' yourself , all the while getting a little truthy a jobless boyfriend who was a no good SOB, and now that she has kicked him to the curb she can drive her newly aquired mustang to Ensenada, home of the original margarita, and learn to make 'real' Mexican margaritas. Pilgrimaging to Ensenada to learn the finer nuances of the margarita is much like going to Tiquana and asking if Ceasar himself might teach you to make his signature salad.
While I mock, it does demonstrate a passion for your craft that is rarely seen in the service industry. But running amock umungst bar geeks here at tales.
With no escape I glanced down and said " I am soo sorry my boss is calling, I have to take this, you know how it is..." she was pleased as punch to have met me but failed to notice I had answered my camera.
I later on she was looking a little green, spinning the same yarn to a stranger that looked liked a trapped mouse digesting the idea that he may swallowed up by her cleavage and never make it to the history of gin class I am sure he was all too excited to attend.